My family, the Holy Family

Feast of the Holy Family 2019

Colossians 3, 12-14

Brothers and sisters:
Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved,
heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,
bearing with one another and forgiving one another, 
if one has a grievance against another; 
as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.
And over all these put on love, 
that is, the bond of perfection.
And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, 
the peace into which you were also called in one body.
And be thankful.
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, 
as in all wisdom you teach and admonish one another, 
singing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs 
with gratitude in your hearts to God.
And whatever you do, in word or in deed, 
do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, 
giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Today, in the middle of the Christmas season we celebrate the feast of the Holy Family. It makes sense that we focus on Joseph, Mary and Jesus in the midst of the Christmas season, not just to see them as individuals but also as a unit, a family of relationships. It also makes sense to reflect on our own families this Christmas season as well. Christmas is a time for families. There are people who are not here this weekend because they are traveling to be with familly, and they are people here with us because they are visiting family. Father Ted just got back from spending Christmas with his family in Boston, and my own sister Peggy is here to spend Christmas and of course my birthday with me.

It is natural for us to reflect on the Holy Family and to reflect upon our own families as well. But few of us would use the word Holy to describe our Families. I think of my own family and the drama of family life. I think of how my family struggles to be a family of course I have the solution to our family struggles, my brothers and sisters need to be more like me, and agree that I am always right. If only they would do this the fights would end and we’d be more like the Holy Family.

We look at the Holy Family in our Manger scene and we think it is easy to marvel at their beauty but impossible to think of imitating them. We look at Mary, Joseph and Jesus and we think, “They look great, but they aren’t a model for my family.” Mary was ever virgin concieved without sin, Joseph is the wonderful stepfather, and Jesus, well Jesus is God.” They seem too distant from our lives, yet I submit, that the Holy Family is not just something to be adored, but that we can imitate them as well.

It is important to remember that Jesus was born in first-century Palestine to a poor family. So when Joseph took Mary as his wife, they didn’t move to that 3 bedroom ranch in the suburbs because they were worried about the gangs of East Nazareth.  They didn’t live in nuclear isolation, they lived in connection to a large family life with a network of friends and relatives who were involved in each other’s daily lives. The first reading from Sirach talks about relationships and it compares our relationship with others to our relationship with God. So it is good to think of our relationships within our family. We need to be honest about those we are close to and those we struggle to be with. Now is a good time to take stock of our families and to remember that the first step in a Holy Family isn’t changing Uncle Ruben, or cousin Al, it is changing ourselves.

The Gospel reading talks about the threat to family life. We know that Joseph had to pick up and move his family just like many families today that are fleeing violence. Threats to family come from outside of us, but most threats to family life come from inside. It is important to remember that as beautiful as family life is that is always a struggle, it is always hard work. Just as Joseph worked hard to keep his family together, we also must work hard to keep our families united.

Christmas is for families, and it is also time for gifts. It is a tradition that began not just with Saint Nicholas but it has it’s origin in the magi who came bearing gifts. So as we continue to celebrate our families I would encourage you to give more gifts to your family. Not the gifts that you can get on Amazon for 50% and free shipping but the gifts that are mentioned in today’s second reading from Colossians chapter 3: “Heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, bearing with one another and forgiving one another.”

We are about to begin a new year, and if we would just choose one of these seven gifts and work on sharing them in our families our families would truly be holy as well.

Heartfelt compassion is quite simply love. If we choose to make our families more loving that means we will experience all of these virtues within our home. It is first because it is the most important.

Kindness is a word that rarely appears in the bible but it is a word that we understand well. A kind word, a kind gesture is one that comes from the heart, it is the ability to see the good in another and to build the other up. Humility, a humble person is willing to help do the dishes, clean up not just after themselves but others as well. Gentleness is a sensitivity, knowing that someone is having a bad day, that they may need some time by themselves. Patience, parents of small children often talk about needing to be more patient, to be patient with childrens, but also with someone who is sick, grandparents and the elderly. Bearing with one another means being there with one another and for one another. To be with one another means that you can count on me and I can count on you. Finally forgiveness. We all know the difficulty of forgiving when we have been hurt. But we also know the joy of being forgiven.

Yes, our families are places of great blessings. We pray that the Holy Family will bless our families today, to make ours more like theirs, so the love and gentleness that Jesus experienced as he was growing up we may know and share as well with the people we most care about.